Thursday, August 10, 2006

Amazing conversation (part 1)

Last night I had the most amazing conversation with my husband. We were watching the show 30 days on FX Network. The show takes a person and puts them in an opposite situation for 30 days and documents it. Last night the show was about an atheist who lived with a born again Christian family for 30 days.

It opened the door for my husband (for those who don’t know, he’s atheist) and I to talk about our beliefs. He listened to everything I had say and I got to share some wonderful thoughts.

This is a direct answer to prayer! For those who don’t know, my husband several months ago told me if I attended church or read my Bible he would divorce me. I cried out to God for his mercy on my husband and on my marriage. I prayed God would soften my husband’s heart. Well for him to go from forbidding me to read the Bible to now being open to speaking about my beliefs is a miracle! If that’s not a softening of his heart then I don’t know what would be! We are actually enjoying having conversations on religion and with no arguing!

Last night I left him with the question “If there is no God then who or what decides what’s right and wrong?” He stated he felt it was society who determined this and I pointed out several reasons I believe it can’t be society.

Sometime during the conversation he made the statement “you’re not open to thinking different ways.”

I thought on this all night and morning, how could this guy say that????? For 10 years I’ve been out of church. I’ve gone through times where I didn’t believe there was a God. To times where I thought if there was a God somewhere, then he certainly didn’t have anything to do with this world or me. Basically for 10 years I’ve put God on hold to find out things for myself. I didn’t want God telling me what to do or what to think. I wanted God out of my head and heart, I got PRIDEFUL. Arrogant.

I got so far away from God that I forgot my past experiences with Him. So far away that it seemed like a fairy tale, a distant memory of my childhood. Like Santa Claus or the Easter Bunny.

It was the only the power of God (and the power prayer, my parents were praying) that I heard Him calling out to me in the mist of my darkness. God revealed Himself to me in a powerful way, so powerful I couldn’t deny that He was real. He was right in front of me! He was breathing on me! He was pouring out amazing LOVE!!! I got a taste of that, and man there’s no going back for me!

READ part 2 for my response to my husband regarding his comment: “you’re not open to thinking different ways.”

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