Sunday, November 18, 2007

It's time

Wednesday night as I was reading my Bible I found my mom listed in there. No, her name Kristy Dykes wasn't written but if you read Proverbs 31 Epilogue: The Wife of Noble Character you will find her.

Last week I felt the Lord whisper into my heart the words Rise Up. It's time to Rise Up. So Wednesday night I looked up the words Rise Up in the Bible and here is what I found.

Proverbs 31:28 Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her

As my sister and I sat in the ICU waiting room Thursday afternoon we started to cry out "what are we going to do?" In my spirit cried the words rise up. So I shared with her what we're going to do as her children.

It's time to rise up and be everything our mother has taught us to be. All the training, all the diligent guiding she's given since the time we were born until becoming young ladies. It's time to rise up and become what she knew all along was inside us. So much wisdom she has given us, little nuggets here and there. I'm going to make my mother proud. This isn't going to destroy me, it's going to make me stronger. My mother is going to come alive in me, her words, her training... I'm going to strive all my life with the sweet help of Jesus to Rise Up.

Saturday, November 17, 2007

My mom's brain tumor

We found out yesterday that my mom's brain tumor is called a glioblastoma multiforme grade four. All you have to do is google that word and you will know how bad it is. They have given her 6 to 9 months here on this earth.

It's hard to believe that unless a supernatural miracle happens my mother will no longer be on this earth. I don't like the word die, do you know why? Because my mother is not going to die. Sure her body will give out but SHE, her spirit, the thing that makes her who she is will not cease. She's going to transition. So I perfer the word transition. In 6 to 9 months my mother is going to transition from this earth to heaven.

My mother has described a cloud of peace that is around her and I'm going to try and describe it in a little more detail. All around my mother is a sweetness. It fills her hospital ICU room. You can see it touching her, you can see it in her face. There is no fear in that room or anywhere near her. Something draws me to that room and comforts me. My spirit senses it and rejoices in it's sweetness. I can feel Jesus in that room, He is so close to her whispering in her ear. People come in and out to visit but He never leaves her side. He is waiting for her patiently with a sweet knowing smile on His face. He isn't going to leave her, from this point out He's waiting by her side. When I sit in that room by my mother and close my eyes that peace settles all around me and I never want to leave. All my life I've had an image of what death and news of this nature would feel like and this is NOTHING like what I thought. It's too much to describe in just a few sentences but there is no fear. It is sweet and fills me with awe. This passage in 1 Corinthians 15: 54-55 has come alive for me and I understand it in the deepest parts of my soul: So when this corruptible shall have put on incorruption, and this mortal shall have put on immortality, then shall be brought to pass the saying that is written, Death is swallowed up in victory. O death, where is thy sting? O grave, where is thy victory?

We have the victory!! This tumor doesn't, death doesn't. Satan can throw the worst at us and still we will rise up in victory!

Thursday, November 08, 2007

When you hear the worst

Yesterday I heard the worst news of my life. My mother has a brain tumor and it's cancer...

I didn't believe her when she called and told me. I remember yelling at her saying it wasn't true...

I don't know why this is happening but I do know He has been beside me comforting and giving an unusual peace.

It must sound very odd to say you have peace when the worst thing that can happen is happening. But this is what I know, He's got my mother in the palm of His hand and there is no other place I'd rather have her be. I know He's going to be there with her every step of the way. He's promised this and God doesn't go back on promises.

My heartfelt prayer: Dear God I'm not sure what you are up too yet but know this, our family loves you and we dedicate our lives to you. Our lives are not our own but yours dear Lord. And so we look up to you and we worship you because you are good and holy and just. Nothing can ever separate us from your love and to your love we cling. We stand with our arms open expecting, waiting and receiving your love and peace. I thank you with all my heart for giving me my mother. I thank you for her creation, she is yours and she's beautiful...