Tuesday, March 21, 2006

Did you know that God is real???!!!

It all started a year ago in March 2005. I was at a party with my husband and mother-in-law and a good family friend sat at our table. This friend had recently been born again and filled with the Holy Spirit.

She was alive and on fire for God and turned to my husband and said “God wants you!!!” She was very bold in her statements and I felt God reaching down and speaking through her. What she said touched me to my core.

She shared that after becoming born again her husband forbid her to go to church, he was jewish. She told me she would lie in bed at night and lay hands on him and pray in the spirit and plead the blood over him. He miraculously came to Christ one day in a busy mall; he fell right there on his knees and worshiped the Lord.

This woman spoke the truth and God put her at that party, at our table to speak to me. It was like God reached down and grabbed me by the heart and said “I want you!!” The seed was planted in my heart. After that I started hungering after Him.

I found out about a church that had services in English and started attending on Sundays. This caused a huge conflict with my husband because he is athiest.

A lot happened that is too long to share but it basically came down to choosing between my husband or God. It was the hardest, scariest decision I’ve ever made. But I choose God and I got up on Sundays and took my 2 year old daughter and newborn son and we went.

As I drove each Sunday morning I would give the problem back to God, I didn’t know how he was going to work it out or what would happen with my marriage, it was a scary time but I would just pray “I choose you, I choose you” as I drove.

The church I found is interdenominational, called the Union Church. Check out their website at www.unionchurchofsanjuan.org Although it's not pentecostal I can feel the Holy Spirit gently in the services. He is there!!

Then my mother ordered me a series of books by Ted Dekker. As I was finishing the 2nd book I was sitting on my couch thinking about what I read. It dawned on me suddenly that I needed to give everything about me to Christ. Every desire, every wish, every thought, every emotion. To give up everything in order to receive true fulfillment and eternal life.

I became filled with deep despair because as much as I wanted to give up the deepest desires of my heart, I wasn’t able to do it. I am too full of sin and I will fail again and again.

At that moment something hit me like a bolt of lighting!!! I realized I didn’t have to do anything!!!!!!!!!!!! He did it for me!!!! He did it ALL for me on the cross!!!!!! It’s not about me being good or doing this or that!!!! I can never be good enough, or perfect enough!!! Only his blood can wash me clean!!!! There is nothing for me to do!!! It’s so simple!!! It’s all about Him!!!! Everything is about Him!!!

All the sudden I opened my mouth and I started speaking in a language I didn’t know. I felt actual scales fall off my eyes and I saw two whole worlds and I realized God was real!!!

As this was happening to me my 2 year old was napping, my infant was in his swing and my husband on the computer. It was so powerful, I ran to my husband crying and I told him “God is REAL!!!” He’s real!!!!” I told him “I was just sitting on the couch and something has happened to me! I know beyond any doubt that God is real!” My husband practically ran out the door on a sudden errand, he laughed it off saying I had lost my mind. As he left I told him “you’ve been married to me for 8 years, you KNOW I’m not crazy! God is real!”

While he was gone I literally walked my house in circles praying in tongues while God revealed things to me in waves.

Here is what I wrote down frantically as it was happening to me: Everything in this world is a distraction away from God. The only thing that matters is so simple, it’s one word, CHRIST. It’s all about Him, it always has been all about Him. The world and things in this world are just to take your eyes off Him and confuse you. It’s about a constant focus on Him, about being in constant worship. Everything else holds no importance. Nothing matters but Him, it’s so simple. To worship Him is to be with Him. There is no other joy, He is the joy. His joy is real, I can taste it, I can swim in it, I can breathe him. He’s everywhere, He’s everywhere I look. I don’t have to turn my head to find Him, to see Him. He’s in the rocks, He’s in the trees. He is beauty, He is love. He is pure. To worship Him is to slip from this world and find Him. Everything else is a distraction; it’s about going back to Him, worshiping again. It’s living in two worlds at once; it’s balancing them but never loosing focus of Him. Until one day we are with Him and there will be no distractions, just Him. It’s all I need; it’s what I was made for. I know what I’m made for, it’s for Him, it’s all about Him!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This is only the start of what he is revealing to me, as I open my self to Him and focus on Him He shows me things that give me DEEP joy. I have been filling up pages, writing as fast as I can what he’s been showing me until I realized I don’t have to write it all down, that I COULDN’T write it all down, it’s too much!! And then that’s when I realized that the word of God is ALIVE. Do you know that it is ALIVE????!!!!! Everything I need to know is right in His word, and all the sudden He is speaking to me in His word, I’m jumping from place to place every thing I read has deep meaning!!!It’s ALIVE!!!!!!

It’s as if I’ve just been born and I’m experiencing everything for the first time. I was blind but now I SEE!!!!! I SEE now!!!! I can’t get enough of Him!!! In a second He changed EVERYTHING about me. There isn’t an area in my life that has been changed and touched.

My journey with Him has just begun. I've created this blog so I can always remember this journey with Him!

Anyone who reads, feel free to comment. I love to read any words of wisdom or encourgement!


Kristy Dykes said...

Jennifer, I am so thrilled at what's happening to you! Living a life in the Spirit is the highest way to live and full of joy, peace, and love. Continually seek after Him, and He will bless you and bring you fulfilment. I just can't tell you how happy I am.

I remember when you married at age 19 and moved immediately to San Juan, Puerto Rico, when you brand new husband rec'd. a great job offer as stockbroker. (He was born and raised there but living in Tampa, where you met him.) I said, "Jennifer, even if you can't find an English-speaking church to get involved in when you move to Puerto Rico, you can STILL keep your faith. When the women went out West in the covered wagons, even though there were no churches out there, they kept their faith. And you will too."

Now, a supernatural experience has happened to you. We have shared this with our church, and it was blessed them.

And your cousin in Orlando shared it with his church, and it blessed them.

Thank the Lord.

I love you. Love, Mom

Cara Putman said...

Jennifer, the newness and freshness of your faith challenges me. I've recently hit a stand-off maybe with God where I'm waiting for Him to make a move :-) I'm being stubborn and I know it. And your post reminds me of the experience and depth I usually have with God. Thanks for reminding me to humble myself and go flying back into His arms.

The longer you walk this road the more you'll learn, but always pray Psalm 51 -- restore the joy of my salvation. Because then you'll never forget what God has shown you in this moment and at this time.

kc said...

I'm so excited for you! Ted Dekker is a hero of mine, and I believe his books will touch many people with the love of Christ. I'm so glad God used Ted to reach you. Ted would be thrilled to hear your story - you ought to send it to him.

God bless,
Karri Compton

CHickey said...

What a wonderful testimony! I believe you will be able to reach out and touch many people with Christ's love.

Karen said...

I read your recent entries and could tell right away that you're a true believer. i just read this one cause my sister is showing curiousity about Jesus and her husband is also an athiest. Thank you for blogging, it's a serious encouragement. When i read this blog you said the church you go to isn't pentacastal but you know that the Holy Spirit is present. I'm really happy to hear that because like you I'm so fired up for God I can't see myself living any other way, but some pentacastals deny others being born again if they don't speak in tongues. I believe you can have true belivers in pretty much any christian denomination just lke you can have some people just church goers.Thank you again for sharing some of your testimony, i felt your zeal the way i felt it when He opened my eyes. I met Jesus for the first time in Jan.06 some people say I'll lose my zeal as time goes on, that I'm just a new believer, but i know its a lie. He's what i live for. I'll be praying for you and your husband. please pray for my sister and her husband too. Thanks again.

Becky; said...

Thanks for this....I am so excited to have found this to learn a new story...yours...WOW.....keep writing the journey, keep pointing to Him.

luvzgod247 said...

I stumbled across your blog today and I know that God sent me to read your story. Although this was written almost 3 years ago and obviously your in a different chapter in your life, I am touched. I was just looking for a good book over the internet trying to find a good love story to I guess drown myself in to get away from the real world and here I am. My mother and I were just talking about what your talking about in your blog titled "did you know that God is real?". Thanks for your words and I would love to chat with you some time if you have a chance. My email is luvzgod247@yahoo.com
God Bless

Daniel Pivano said...

How true, it is all about Him forever! Praise Abba!!! Praise Jesus!!!