Wednesday, February 11, 2009


My Dad had this beautiful portrait of my dear mother made last summer. It was made using a recent photo of her before she got real sick. He put it in their room near her hospital bed. For three months she laid in that bed, slowly dying. Everyday getting weaker and more frail.
I would wake up every morning and wonder if she made it through the night. Was she still with us? I would go in quietly and check her, immediately relieved she was still there.
But the relief would quickly be replaced by dread as I would wonder how much longer she would have to suffer. I would check her breathing, was she breathing slower than the day before? I was constantly looking for "signs" that the hospice pamphlet said would accompany the end.
When she finally let go of my dad's hand and grabbed the hand of Jesus, I was an hour or so away on the highway, trying desperately to get to her. For months I'd been by her side, wanting to be with her as she met her Savior face to face.
But it wasn't to be, and in the end God knew. My dad was with her and witnessed a private, Holy moment.
I was able to see her before they took her away. I climbed in her bed and put her arms around me, sobbing like I'd never done before. For months I tried to be strong and keep her spirits up. I wanted her to know I'd be ok. But then her spirit was gone and it was just me saying goodbye to the earthly shell of what was my wonderful, sweet mother.
Oh how I miss her...
Last Thursday, my doorbell rang and it was the mail man handing me a long tube. Can you guess what was inside?
The portrait of my mother! My dad made a copy and wanted me to have something special and meaningful of her. Isn't that sweet of him? He has been the most wonderful father I could ever ask for.
I'm going Friday to get it framed and we're hanging it in Claudia's room!

9 comments:

B. J. Brooks said...

Jennifer it's a wonderful picture of your mom, it captures her beautiful smile and glowing red hair.

An awesome tribute.

I love visiting your blog.

Many Blessings,
B.J. Brooks
(Robinson)

Lisa said...

WHAT A WONDERFUL GIFT YOUR DAD GAVE YOU. I TOO HAVE LOST A MOM TO CANCER. IT HAS BEEN 18 YEARS THE END OF FEBRUARY. GOD DOES HAVE A WAY OF TAKING THE HURT, AND COMFORTING OUR HEART LIKE NO ONE CAN. I KNOW HE WILL DO THE SAME FOR YOU FRIEND. I PRAY FOR YOU SWEETIE.

HUGS FROM MAINE

http://sophie4me.blogspot.com/

Jennifer said...

B.J., Thanks! Any news on your former husband that had a seizure? I pray all is well.

Jennifer said...

Lisa, Thanks for your prayers. I'm sorry you lost your mother to cancer too. You words are a comfort and encouragement. Without Jesus, I couldn't make it through this loss. I think He always knew that. It's only through Him that I find comfort.

Milton Dykes said...

Jennifer, you and your sister, Julie, are the most wonderful daughters given to me by your sweet, precious mother. She loved you dearly. I know that for sure. We will see her again in heaven. She just beat us there.

Love, Dad

B. J. Brooks said...

Jennifer so sweet of you to ask about my first husband. His name is Larry and my present husband is also Larry. Confused? My sister says it was appropriate as I started with and ended with Larry.

Anyway he is still in the hospital, and will go into rehab next week. They discovered he had diabetes that had gone untreated, probably for many years. He has several other issues and will mostly likely need long term care.

I'm praying for wise decisions to be made by all.

Have a blessed day.

B.J.Brooks
(Robinson)

Jennifer said...

B.J., I'm relieved because when you said he had a seizure I immediately thought of brain tumor. I've been wondering and will keep him and your kids in my prayers.

THOMBU1 said...

Jennifer, I too was so close but oh so far when my Dad passed. I walked in from traveling all day at work right between the time he passed and when the nurse came in to check after his homegoing. My wife was there and our cousin who loved him dearly was there. I many times wondered what I could have done to get back quicker, but I had to go to out of own to inspect some properties. I felt soooo bad that I just missed him leaving by literally a minute or so, but God knew I probably would have had to be checked into a room there myself, as he not only ws my loving Godly father, but my mentor, my bestest buddy, and my business partner for 25 plus years. To say we were close doesn't even come close.
God has poured out on me special grace and has helped me in my depressed state that followed. Uncle Terrys' prayers helped more than he could ever know. He had lost Grace and Eudell and understood all to much what I was going through. Mom died from heart failure 7 weeks later. After that Pastor Terrys' encouragement was the verse that if my father and my mother forsakes me, the Lord will take me up. He took me up, and has held me ever since. My heart still feels like melted jello, and I have lost a part of me that I can't seem to find again, but I am trusting in only the grace and love and care of Our Heavenly Father and His dear Son.
Pray for my grief as I am praying for yours.

Tom

Seedplanter said...

Jennifer, the portrait of your mom was the most thoughtful gift your dad could have given you. It must be a comfort to be wearing her ring, too. I remember the photo your dad posted of you driving, and the ring on your finger.

Thanks for following my Blogspiration blog. It was nice to see your picture there listed among Followers.

Losing a mother is tough. You honor her every time you mother your children. She taught you well and I hear a lot of her sweet spirit in your words.