Sunday, May 04, 2008

Seeing the inside of Hospice

Claudia and I arrived to Jacksonville, Florida Friday afternoon to visit with my mother who has terminal brain cancer.

We drove straight to Community Hospice Center where my mother has been since Thursday night. It's a beautiful place, the outside looks more like a large, fancy home than a place where people...

Well, you know...face death.

The inside looks like a nice hotel. I'm glad my mother is a beautiful place with the best of care. I've never seen doctors and nurses so caring and loving. Her doctor is a Christian!

My mother has taken quick downward turns.

We will know more tomorrow morning.

Today she slept 22 hours, more or less.

She is completely at peace, happy and briefly opens her eyes to say "I love you's" to those around her. Last night her last words before falling asleep for the night where "What a good day. God has been so good to me, I'm so blessed."

I got to spend the night with her Friday and Saturday night. I helped take care of her with the little I could. I put makeup on her and applied chapstick when her lips got dry. It's amazing how these little things have meant the world to me.

The only way I'm able to face this is with Jesus holding my hand. I feel His presence and peace. The thing I feel most from Him right now is His amazing strength.

Thursday night after I last blogged I was crying and feeling so sad and all the sudden I felt the REAL presence of Jesus...I felt Him crying with me and I felt the presence of guardian angels.

It was the most amazing feeling to be utterly alone in the lowest point I've ever felt and suddenly find that I wasn't alone... Jesus was with me and He was crying and grieving with me! From that moment on I've felt strength around me and I've done things and dealt with things in a manner I never thought I could.

Jesus continues to awe and amaze me. You know, I never expected He would cry and greive with me... I kind of thought He was above that, you know? I mean He is God after all.

But I shouldn't be so surprised, that IS what I love so much about Him. He knows me better than I know myself. He's my best friend and He's real.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Amazing Grace how sweet the sound... His wonderful grace and peace is sorrounding you and your family. He is with you always and He is taking care of His precious Jewel kristy.

Isabel Santiago

Shana said...

praying, with love - shana in seattle

Anonymous said...

Jennifer,

Your amazing.

Love you,

Lisa Vella

Mary Connealy said...

God bless you, Jennifer

Anonymous said...

Jennifer,

Just hold tight to Jesus' hand. He is always right there with us, when we make each turn in life's road. He understands, cares and feels our every pain. Joy comes in the morning.
Love and prayers
Ladybug

Page McManus said...

Jennifer,

I had the awesome privilege to sit with your mom at breakfast at the ACFW conference in Nashville. Such a wonderful, smiling, welcoming woman. Her witness brings glory to God and comfort to His people.

My mother is my best friend and I can't begin to imagin what you're going through. My prayers are with your family, and, of course with Kristy, as she takes this journey.

Tell your mom she's loved.

In Christ,

Angie