I've said before I'm not going to tell my mom goodbye.
With mom, I don't believe in goodbyes.
I don't understand why she has to leave this earth so early, I think we all thought she'd make it into her 90's. Not unusual for our family. However in the big scheme of it all I believe we are a breath away right behind behind her.
I left on Thursday and before leaving I wanted to let her know I was heading back home to Puerto Rico, to my son and husband.
I arrived at Hospice very early and sat by her bed watching the clock tick down the hours and minutes, knowing soon we'd be separated.
An hour before I left it was just the two of us in the room. She was sleeping peaceful and I sat by her bed, holding her hand and looking at her. It was a sweet moment, I prayed over her and committed her to Jesus. I told Him I gave her over to His care and trusted Him completely with this precious treasure whom I'm blessed to call my mother.
Before I left I held her close and told her I was leaving. She was alert and looked deep into my eyes and understood what I said. Her first concern was Lorenzo, my two year old. "Poor Lorenzo, he's been away from us for so long." She said.
We hugged and she held me tight and kissed me over and over saying "I love you." I pulled back, looked into her beautiful green eyes and told her I'd see her soon.
As I turned away she whispered "Be at peace." I turned back saying "mom, I'm at peace and you be at peace too. Everything was going to be ok."
I walked away looking back over my shoulder and our eyes locked.
Something that has happened only one other time after her surgery occurred. It's hard to describe but it's as if our souls were communicating without words, we were connected. Our hearts speaking to each other. In my heart I felt her comforting me and I heard "this isn't goodbye, we will see each other soon."
It was a mother and daughter knowing the time had come to be separated, not wanting to say goodbye. In that moment it was as if we both knew we'd always be connected, death can't sever us and soon we will meet again.
3 comments:
Jennifer, my precious sweet Jennifer ~ reading your blog is beyond description. The words you shared are strength to the weary, from a broken, dear, loving daughter. It's true, you're just a breath behind her. What a beautiful expression of your devotion and love, to this precious rare Pearl of Beauty. God is showing you how to be the kind of woman of faith your Mom has always been. No, it's never over. It's only beginning, precious Jennifer. May God hold you close to His bosom, as the angels whisper 'round you----"It's all going to be okay."
Thank you for sharing about your Mom's perfume with me - maybe a small thing to some, but huge to me. I adore that amazing lady.
Love, and Heartfelt Prayers ~
Cathy (Tennessee)
Jennifer I am up at 12:30 a.m. due to severe weather and thought I would check in on your mother's condition. My heart is breaking for you and your sister; I am 50 years old and I still have my mother. Your story has made me be a better daughter, more patient, more greatful. I usually just buy my mother a Mother's Day present but this year I sent flowers as well. You and your mother's story has touched me beyond words. I pray God wraps his arms around you right now.
Teresa from Alabama
I'm thinking of your family and praying for you all, Jennifer.
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