I've felt for a few years a tug on my heart. It's as if God is whispering into my heart that He has a plan for me.
I keep trying to ignore that voice. I keep pushing against that tug. My resistance is making me miserable because I know He has a plan but it just doesn't make sense to me!
I keep thinking "God, now how can you be calling me into ministry? How can I do that? How could that possibly work out? What would Javier think? Why on earth would You want me?"
Then I get a call.
The chairman of the Christian Education committee has asked me to direct Vacation Bible School this summer. You see, the Christian Education Director at our church just recently resigned to start a church on the other side of the island. And there is a need...
I responded I would love to, but I needed to pray about it. After all I am looking for job, what if I'm working and can't do it?
So I prayed and then talked to Javier about it. I poured out my heart and shared with him the desires I believe God has given me. The desire to do something in ministry. I also shared my fears with him, the ones I mentioned above. All the sudden it became crystal clear to me, I know exactly what God is calling me to do. I've just been too afraid to trust, to hope, to believe, to dream.
A fire started burning in my heart and a thrilling passion took over my soul. A peace like I haven't felt since I got saved came over my heart and I finally submitted and admitted my call. It's like a missing piece of the puzzle came flying into my heart and I feel so complete and confident.
And guess what? Javier gave me his full blessing! We've decided together that I'm going to accept the challenge of directing VBS this summer and use it as a platform into ministry. I'm praying for God to use this to raise up a leader in me and see where He takes it from there.
It's putting faith into action and once again Javier is practicing faith without even being a believer! We are believing that God will work out the finance part of the situation.
I still don't understand why God wants to use me, I don't feel like I'm a leader. But I'm focusing my heart on what I do know, that everyday I'm going to turn to Him and ask "Jesus, what are we going to do today? How are you going to use me, to equip me to fulfill the plan You have for me?"
Oh it's going to be exciting!
My heartfelt prayer: Dear Jesus, Oh boy, do I need you more now than I ever have. You've NEVER left me before and so I have confidence you will stick by me now! My confidence is in You and I ask for Your help, Your power to go forth and fulfill my destiny. Love, Jennifer