1 Corinthians 13:4-8 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
8Love never fails.
In my life I've struggled off and on with depression. As a Christian my depression sometimes comes from struggling to understand and accept who I am.
Tonight I was lying in bed thinking who I am. As usual I started thinking about all the things I don't like about myself. I was thinking on 1 Corinthians 13 and reading off to myself the list of things that love is: love is patient, love is kind, it does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud... on it goes.
I've often struggled that these things don't seem to be in my nature, this doesn't seem to be who I am by creation. I can try to be these things. I can meditate on them and redirect my thoughts and actions. I can pray and plead to become these things but deep down my first reponse/thought/action is always the opposite of 1 Corinthians 13.
Bottom line, I don't like this about myself. In the past I've let self-pity and self-loathing cut me off from God. Tonight I just cried and prayed. Tonight I asked why. I don't think I've ever asked Him why before. Some might say you shouldn't ask why to God, but I feel that He is my father and I have a running conversation with Him. I can talk to Him about anything.
So I just cried my self-pity tears and told Him "Now God, YOU made me. Now why did you make me like this?" "Why is it such a struggle for me?" "Why is IT so hard?" "If there is so much value on love, why am I the opposite of it?"
And I love how God speaks to me. First it's like a whisper, it's soft and gentle. But what stands out the most is the peace I feel when He speaks to me. It's a perfect peace. That's the only way I can think to explain it. My whole soul stands still and breathes Him in. There's something addictive about His perfect peace.
Like a caress on my heart He spoke and said "I made you perfect. I made you exactly how I wanted you to be. You are not a mistake, I don't make mistakes. I made you so that you will need Me, so that you will constantly need to rely on Me. That is who I want you to be."
Isn't that amazing? This is something I'm going to need to think about! So first of all, He knows my very nature and He thinks it's perfect because He made me like this and it's exactly how He wants me to be! But here's the best part, it's for a reason! He made me so that I will SEE and FEEL how VERY much I need Him. This is a circle! There is nothing wrong with me! He made me! Ha!
He doesn't want me perfect! lol! That's not what He valvues in me! He delights when I NEED Him. When I ask for His help, when I rely on Him. He doesn't think this is weakness! It's beginning to dawn on me, that I can be a Christian all my life and I'm still going to be who He created, I'm still going to be me. The point isn't to change that, it's beginning to dawn on me that the whole point is to NEED Him.
Saturday, March 31, 2007
Tuesday, March 27, 2007
whose battle is this?
This past Sunday was my 3 year old daughter's first time in Sunday school class. She's always been in the nursery and recently turned 3 so I decided to try her out and see how she would do.
She did wonderful and learned so much in only one hour! I was very impressed.
Also this Sunday I was asked to teach that same preschool class one Sunday a month, I excitedly agreed. I'm so excited to get involved and have a ministry (besides Tuesday's Bible study.) I feel the Lord calling me to this.
However FEAR soon seeped into my soul and guess what FEAR does? It binds you up and cripples you. It overwhelms you and makes it so you stand still and hardly breath, it holds you captive.
FEAR said to me "what will your husband think? What will he do? What will he say when he finds out that xxxx(my daughter) is attending not nursery anymore but Sunday school, where they actually talk about God?" FEAR said to me "oh you are in for it." Like a snake, fear wrapped around my heart and squeezed hard.
The next day I mentioned to my SIL about xxx(my daughter) attending the preschool class at church and right away she said things like, "well I don't envy you. You certain have a battle before you. Your husband will freak out when he finds out. You have a huge battle before you." Again FEAR jumped out and gripped my heart with it's cold hand.
That night I was thinking about what my SIL said, about the battle before me. And all the sudden the Holy Spirit came to me and said "NOW WAIT A MINUTE!" This is NOT your battle this is the Lords! So I grabbed a hold of that and started praying.
Thank God for the Holy Spirit that speaks TRUTH into our minds and hearts. Through prayer and reading of the Word this is what He revealed to me: This is a BATTLE all right! But it's not Jennifer's battle! It is the Lords, He claims it and He's ready to fight! It's not my battle but I do have a job in it, it's my job in this battle to pray. And not just to pray but to pray with POWER through the Holy Spirit and in the powerful name of Jesus and to pray in TRUTH because the truth is on my side! And to pray with FAITH.
And so pray I did last night. My husband was out of town and so I got down in the Word. And I prayed in the Spirit. I bound up every stronghold against my husband by the name of Jesus. I put my hands on his pillow and prayed that when he put his head there later that night that by the power of Jesus, strongholds from Satan would be broken and the truth would set him free.
I know that Satan has used fear on me for awhile but the time has come where I have to choose between comfort and the truth, in my heart I know there is no other way but the truth.
2 Timothy 1:7 says For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline.
And so with God fighting this battle I'm ready! I'm not afraid and fear has been cast aside. There is nothing to be afraid of, there is only ONE way this battle will end! And that is with God prevailing! I'm getting ready for my part (which is prayer) by reading the Word. Because how can you pray in TRUTH without the Word saturating your mind and soul? I'm using the Word to pray. Since the Word is alive then what better way to pray than by it's power?
Anybody out there want to use this prayer to fight a battle? I'm using 2 Corinthians 10:3-5 and this is how my prayer looks like: By the authority given to me by Jesus I pray this in His name: Satan I come against you in the name of Jesus 3For though I live in the world, I do not wage war as the world does. 4The weapons I fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds against my husband. 5I demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and I take captive every thought of my husband's to make it obedient to Christ.
She did wonderful and learned so much in only one hour! I was very impressed.
Also this Sunday I was asked to teach that same preschool class one Sunday a month, I excitedly agreed. I'm so excited to get involved and have a ministry (besides Tuesday's Bible study.) I feel the Lord calling me to this.
However FEAR soon seeped into my soul and guess what FEAR does? It binds you up and cripples you. It overwhelms you and makes it so you stand still and hardly breath, it holds you captive.
FEAR said to me "what will your husband think? What will he do? What will he say when he finds out that xxxx(my daughter) is attending not nursery anymore but Sunday school, where they actually talk about God?" FEAR said to me "oh you are in for it." Like a snake, fear wrapped around my heart and squeezed hard.
The next day I mentioned to my SIL about xxx(my daughter) attending the preschool class at church and right away she said things like, "well I don't envy you. You certain have a battle before you. Your husband will freak out when he finds out. You have a huge battle before you." Again FEAR jumped out and gripped my heart with it's cold hand.
That night I was thinking about what my SIL said, about the battle before me. And all the sudden the Holy Spirit came to me and said "NOW WAIT A MINUTE!" This is NOT your battle this is the Lords! So I grabbed a hold of that and started praying.
Thank God for the Holy Spirit that speaks TRUTH into our minds and hearts. Through prayer and reading of the Word this is what He revealed to me: This is a BATTLE all right! But it's not Jennifer's battle! It is the Lords, He claims it and He's ready to fight! It's not my battle but I do have a job in it, it's my job in this battle to pray. And not just to pray but to pray with POWER through the Holy Spirit and in the powerful name of Jesus and to pray in TRUTH because the truth is on my side! And to pray with FAITH.
And so pray I did last night. My husband was out of town and so I got down in the Word. And I prayed in the Spirit. I bound up every stronghold against my husband by the name of Jesus. I put my hands on his pillow and prayed that when he put his head there later that night that by the power of Jesus, strongholds from Satan would be broken and the truth would set him free.
I know that Satan has used fear on me for awhile but the time has come where I have to choose between comfort and the truth, in my heart I know there is no other way but the truth.
2 Timothy 1:7 says For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline.
And so with God fighting this battle I'm ready! I'm not afraid and fear has been cast aside. There is nothing to be afraid of, there is only ONE way this battle will end! And that is with God prevailing! I'm getting ready for my part (which is prayer) by reading the Word. Because how can you pray in TRUTH without the Word saturating your mind and soul? I'm using the Word to pray. Since the Word is alive then what better way to pray than by it's power?
Anybody out there want to use this prayer to fight a battle? I'm using 2 Corinthians 10:3-5 and this is how my prayer looks like: By the authority given to me by Jesus I pray this in His name: Satan I come against you in the name of Jesus 3For though I live in the world, I do not wage war as the world does. 4The weapons I fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds against my husband. 5I demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and I take captive every thought of my husband's to make it obedient to Christ.
Tuesday, March 06, 2007
God is SO good!!!!
It seems fitting to direct this post to Him. Dear God, You are an amazing and wonderful God. I can hardly get past the wonder that You created Me so that I can know You and experience You! You are funny, You are loving and ever so kind! You are gentle and patient and laugh like a little child yet are so wise and all knowing. The depth of your personality makes me pant after You for more! I want more of You! How thrilling I can come directly to You and sit at Your feet in worship. I love you with all my heart, You are my Father. You fill me up with bubbles of love. You are perfect and as always You are genius! I love laughing with you. I love You! I love how Holy and perfect You are! To worship You is be with You! It's what You demand! Worship is what You want. How exciting is my relationship with You. You pour out Your love and in return I worship and adore You!
*******
In my dark and difficult moments I cry out to Him and beg for His hand and His help. In my joyful moments I laugh with Him and sing to Him. He knows how wonderful He is, but He loves for me to tell Him!
Right now is a joyful moment in my life. We closed on our apartment and are settling into our rental apartment. We are very happy in our new place. Today I got teary-eyed thinking on this past year and how far He has brought me. Because for SURE the hand of the Lord has been on my life. I don't believe for a second all these blessings are coincidence!
In one year I've gone from the brink of divorce and abandonment to my marriage being restored and healed and my little family kept intact. We've gone from near bankruptcy to my husband getting a new job, selling our condo at top dollar and moving to a much bigger place. And that's just the big stuff. I've done lots of laughing with God this past year! You know what I've discovered? Blessings always come with laughter. I'm amazed to learn, He LOVES to bless His children! It brings Him pleasure! And do you know why? Because He is a GOOD God!
*******
In my dark and difficult moments I cry out to Him and beg for His hand and His help. In my joyful moments I laugh with Him and sing to Him. He knows how wonderful He is, but He loves for me to tell Him!
Right now is a joyful moment in my life. We closed on our apartment and are settling into our rental apartment. We are very happy in our new place. Today I got teary-eyed thinking on this past year and how far He has brought me. Because for SURE the hand of the Lord has been on my life. I don't believe for a second all these blessings are coincidence!
In one year I've gone from the brink of divorce and abandonment to my marriage being restored and healed and my little family kept intact. We've gone from near bankruptcy to my husband getting a new job, selling our condo at top dollar and moving to a much bigger place. And that's just the big stuff. I've done lots of laughing with God this past year! You know what I've discovered? Blessings always come with laughter. I'm amazed to learn, He LOVES to bless His children! It brings Him pleasure! And do you know why? Because He is a GOOD God!
Tuesday, February 27, 2007
So close!
Well it looks like we are going to close tomorrow! We've reached an agreement with the buyer and if all goes as planned we will close tomorrow and after that sign our new lease and start moving in the afternoon and have the movers come on Thursday for the big stuff.
I feel at peace with our agreement and a relief that we aren't signing the lease until after we close.
Now let me tell you about our new place! I think God has really blessed us and we will be very happy there, this place has EVERY single thing I wanted! Isn't God good?
It's a 3 bedroom 2 bath almost 1,700 sq ft. All the bedrooms are on one side of the apartment divided by a door and the family/dinning/kitchen/balcony are on the other side. The kitchen is huge, even has an island, and the view is stunning. It's a sub penthouse so it's high up, the 22nd floor. We have views facing San Juan and the ocean. There are more closets than I can fill up!!! It has a pool, playground and gym. We have private storage and two parkings. God even got the small details down, it has carpet in the bedrooms which I really wanted. The master room and bath are big and has a walk in closet! Oh oh I forgot, it has 4 air condition units!!!!!!!!!!!!! No more sweating all day in misery!
I've learned a lot of lessons during this time! One main one being what my dad commented on in my last post I'll copy and paste it here:
******
It has been said that we are no more like God than when we forgive others for what they have done wrong to us.
Your kindness and prayers to this lady has yet worked God's goodness in your life.
God takes all things and works them for our good. You have become more like Jesus through this experience, and that is good.
Love is more important than faith--See I Corinthians 13.
Love, Dad
******
1 Corinthians 13 1If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames but have not love, I gain nothing.
4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
8Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. 11When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. 12Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
13And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
I feel at peace with our agreement and a relief that we aren't signing the lease until after we close.
Now let me tell you about our new place! I think God has really blessed us and we will be very happy there, this place has EVERY single thing I wanted! Isn't God good?
It's a 3 bedroom 2 bath almost 1,700 sq ft. All the bedrooms are on one side of the apartment divided by a door and the family/dinning/kitchen/balcony are on the other side. The kitchen is huge, even has an island, and the view is stunning. It's a sub penthouse so it's high up, the 22nd floor. We have views facing San Juan and the ocean. There are more closets than I can fill up!!! It has a pool, playground and gym. We have private storage and two parkings. God even got the small details down, it has carpet in the bedrooms which I really wanted. The master room and bath are big and has a walk in closet! Oh oh I forgot, it has 4 air condition units!!!!!!!!!!!!! No more sweating all day in misery!
I've learned a lot of lessons during this time! One main one being what my dad commented on in my last post I'll copy and paste it here:
******
It has been said that we are no more like God than when we forgive others for what they have done wrong to us.
Your kindness and prayers to this lady has yet worked God's goodness in your life.
God takes all things and works them for our good. You have become more like Jesus through this experience, and that is good.
Love is more important than faith--See I Corinthians 13.
Love, Dad
******
1 Corinthians 13 1If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames but have not love, I gain nothing.
4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
8Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. 11When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. 12Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
13And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
Monday, February 26, 2007
Countdown to God's Goodness
Romans 15:13 May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.
Things have been SO stressful these last few days. Our closing has been pushed back by at least a couple of days and things at this point could still fall through. Some unexpected issues came up in the inspection of the condo and we are trying to work through the issues with our buyer.
It's been really tough on me with two small children, packing and dealing with inspectors etc. At one point I was very upset with the buyer. She knows we have small kids and we're trying to get out in 11 days at her request and she wasn't responding to some calls which put delays on us signing a lease etc. Today was the day before the movers come and I still didn't know if we were going to close or not. We found a perfect place and have someone waiting on us to sign a lease and the buyer was/in dragging her feet. STRESS. I was really getting upset and felt like blessing the buyer out.
And then the Holy Spirit spoke and started changing my heart, I started feeling compassion for the woman. Even though I feel she isn't doing us right I started feeling compassionate for her. From what I understand she has some personal/emotional problems and so I started to pray for her. That God would touch her in that very moment and calm her heart. I prayed that God would bless her and protect her and be there for her.
Instantly a peace came over me and a calm took over my heart.
About 15 minutes later I FINALLY received word from our realitor that she got in touch with the buyer and she thinks we can work out the closing and reach an agreement.
And so with that I pray to my Father; Dear Lord I've been so busy praying for myself this whole time that I've lost sight of those around me. I've been so focused on receiving my blessing that perhaps my heart has been in the wrong place. And so I turn it all over to you. You know just what I need and even though times look dark, I refuse to lose my faith in you. You are my delight and I will not let that go! You are what excites me and You are what I want, I give the rest to you. My dear Lord I pray for this woman who needs your help, I pray you bless her ten times what you will bless me. Dear Lord I pray for the best for this lady. I pray Lord you will step in and change my heart where it needs to be changed, I know only YOU can do that! And so here Lord is my heart, I offer it to you and my longing is that you change my desires to Yours so that I can pray Your will. I thank You for Your wonderful mercy and grace. You are amazingly sweet!
Things have been SO stressful these last few days. Our closing has been pushed back by at least a couple of days and things at this point could still fall through. Some unexpected issues came up in the inspection of the condo and we are trying to work through the issues with our buyer.
It's been really tough on me with two small children, packing and dealing with inspectors etc. At one point I was very upset with the buyer. She knows we have small kids and we're trying to get out in 11 days at her request and she wasn't responding to some calls which put delays on us signing a lease etc. Today was the day before the movers come and I still didn't know if we were going to close or not. We found a perfect place and have someone waiting on us to sign a lease and the buyer was/in dragging her feet. STRESS. I was really getting upset and felt like blessing the buyer out.
And then the Holy Spirit spoke and started changing my heart, I started feeling compassion for the woman. Even though I feel she isn't doing us right I started feeling compassionate for her. From what I understand she has some personal/emotional problems and so I started to pray for her. That God would touch her in that very moment and calm her heart. I prayed that God would bless her and protect her and be there for her.
Instantly a peace came over me and a calm took over my heart.
About 15 minutes later I FINALLY received word from our realitor that she got in touch with the buyer and she thinks we can work out the closing and reach an agreement.
And so with that I pray to my Father; Dear Lord I've been so busy praying for myself this whole time that I've lost sight of those around me. I've been so focused on receiving my blessing that perhaps my heart has been in the wrong place. And so I turn it all over to you. You know just what I need and even though times look dark, I refuse to lose my faith in you. You are my delight and I will not let that go! You are what excites me and You are what I want, I give the rest to you. My dear Lord I pray for this woman who needs your help, I pray you bless her ten times what you will bless me. Dear Lord I pray for the best for this lady. I pray Lord you will step in and change my heart where it needs to be changed, I know only YOU can do that! And so here Lord is my heart, I offer it to you and my longing is that you change my desires to Yours so that I can pray Your will. I thank You for Your wonderful mercy and grace. You are amazingly sweet!
Thursday, February 22, 2007
Update to Day 7
I forgot to mention in my post below that I received a call from a lady in my Bible study group.
I didn't go on Tuesday but called the other co-leader to let her know what was going on and she requested prayer on my half.
That afternoon I received a call from one of the ladies asking how I was etc. And she offered to come help me pack and even help move!
I thought that was the nicest thing and it touched my heart dearly.
Just the woman offering to help was a witness and blessing. I mentioned to my husband how a friend from church upon hearing our delema called and offered her help. I pointed out to him, that several times he's asked why I feel the need to attend church etc. and I told him "you see, a friend from church who I haven't even know that long was offering to help us! That's how church people are!" He was very impressed and seemed touched.
Praise God for another witness to my husband!
I didn't go on Tuesday but called the other co-leader to let her know what was going on and she requested prayer on my half.
That afternoon I received a call from one of the ladies asking how I was etc. And she offered to come help me pack and even help move!
I thought that was the nicest thing and it touched my heart dearly.
Just the woman offering to help was a witness and blessing. I mentioned to my husband how a friend from church upon hearing our delema called and offered her help. I pointed out to him, that several times he's asked why I feel the need to attend church etc. and I told him "you see, a friend from church who I haven't even know that long was offering to help us! That's how church people are!" He was very impressed and seemed touched.
Praise God for another witness to my husband!
Documenting God's Goodness Countdown Day 7
Yesterday was STRESSFUL.
We spent a good part of the day in the car driving around from place to place looking at apartments. There really seems to be nothing available that fits our needs.
Either it's the perfect size and great location BUT only 1 parking OR horrible location but 2 parkings.
I really don't know what we will do.
There are several nice remodeled 2 bedrooms but we started this whole process to get 3 bedrooms.
Should I settle for less since it's temporary and then in a year buy what we want OR what.....? Be homeless?
We spent a good part of the day in the car driving around from place to place looking at apartments. There really seems to be nothing available that fits our needs.
Either it's the perfect size and great location BUT only 1 parking OR horrible location but 2 parkings.
I really don't know what we will do.
There are several nice remodeled 2 bedrooms but we started this whole process to get 3 bedrooms.
Should I settle for less since it's temporary and then in a year buy what we want OR what.....? Be homeless?
Tuesday, February 20, 2007
Documenting God's Goodness Countdown Day 9
And Jebez called on the God of Israel saying, "Oh that you would bless me indeed, and enlarge my territory, that Your hand would be with me, and that You would keep me from evil, that I may not cause pain." So God granted him what he requested.
Life is busy! Packing with two young kids underfoot is well.......impossible!
During the day I'm busy with the kids and making calls and checking online for new listings. We still have no place to go and the tower of boxes is getting higher and higher along my walls!
At night is when the real fun begins! I put the kids down around 8pm and start packing. I first tried to pack during the day but soon find myself about to pull my hair out. Once again I cried out to the Lord asking "what have I done??? how am I going to get all this packed??? how is this supposed to work???" Well who knew the Holy Spirit would take a hand in packing! This whole process I feel the spirit with me so strongly, guiding me and give me wisdom. Very quickly I felt Him prod me in the direction I should go. Pack at night, and so I am. Amazingly He gives me strength and I've been praising Him as I pack!
As for where we are going, right now we are looking for a place to rent with the idea we'll take our time to buy. But there's not many options out there. We looked at a place yesterday and have an appointment tonight to look at something else.
There are moments of shear panick and fear but this where I'm praying that the hand of the Lord be with me. No matter what happens, no matter where we end up all I ask is that His hand is with me! Even if things go bad, that doesn't mean He's not in charge. It just means He's got something for me to learn!
And I'm ready for what He's got!
Life is busy! Packing with two young kids underfoot is well.......impossible!
During the day I'm busy with the kids and making calls and checking online for new listings. We still have no place to go and the tower of boxes is getting higher and higher along my walls!
At night is when the real fun begins! I put the kids down around 8pm and start packing. I first tried to pack during the day but soon find myself about to pull my hair out. Once again I cried out to the Lord asking "what have I done??? how am I going to get all this packed??? how is this supposed to work???" Well who knew the Holy Spirit would take a hand in packing! This whole process I feel the spirit with me so strongly, guiding me and give me wisdom. Very quickly I felt Him prod me in the direction I should go. Pack at night, and so I am. Amazingly He gives me strength and I've been praising Him as I pack!
As for where we are going, right now we are looking for a place to rent with the idea we'll take our time to buy. But there's not many options out there. We looked at a place yesterday and have an appointment tonight to look at something else.
There are moments of shear panick and fear but this where I'm praying that the hand of the Lord be with me. No matter what happens, no matter where we end up all I ask is that His hand is with me! Even if things go bad, that doesn't mean He's not in charge. It just means He's got something for me to learn!
And I'm ready for what He's got!
Monday, February 19, 2007
Documenting God's Goodness Countdown Day 10
I am so excited about how GOOD my God is, I want to shout it from the rooftops.
I've decided to create a countdown on here to document what my God is capable of!
Here's a little background info. We live in a 2 bedroom condo and several months ago were talking about if we should sell and look for a 3 bedroom place OR remodel our place and turn it into a 3 bedroom. It would make the living space very small. But we need a 3rd bedroom for our 2nd child.
I really didn't know which direction to go in and one day I was getting the children on the elevator and I was praying asking God to show me what to do, that I needed a clear answer on this issue. As soon as I prayed for answer the elevator stopped and a neighbor got in. I've seen this neighbor before but we've never talked beyond a polite hello. This woman turned to me and said: "How do you live here? How do you fit into these tiny condo's with your family?" I replied "Well it's hard, we don't fit well at all." She agreed and finished with "Every young couple that starts a family here quickly moves out. No one stays here once they start having children. This building just wasn't made for families."
The elevator stopped again and as quickly as she got in she was gone!
As soon as I got in my car I called my mother in shock and told her the whole story. In my heart I believed this was my answer from God. And as I talked it over with my mother she too agreed.
So we decided to sell.
A friend put our place on the market about a month ago and right away I felt the Lord speak to me and say that we were going to have a buyer come and pay our asking price, it wasn't going to take long and it was just going to fall into our lap. I further felt Him speak into my heart that He was going to bless my family beyond what I would think of.
We had a few people come and look and I pretty much kept what the Lord spoke into my heart to myself.
Then on Valentine's Day a woman came and looked and was very iinterested but her offer was 40 thousand below our asking price. We declined and counter offered with our asking price. Our realitor thought we were making a mistake that nobody pays the asking price AND we then found out that the condo above us just sold for 20 thousand below our asking price.
Still we held firm. Again the Lord spoke in my heart that we were going to get our asking price.
Three days later we get the call. She wants the condo and will come up to our asking price and wants to pay cash pending an appraisal. We agree to the appraisal.
THEN later that night we get another call from our realitor that the buyer wants to forget about the appraisal, she wants the place and she wants to make the contract the next day!
Now this was all very exciting but really scary at the same time because we have no place to go and the buyer wants to close on Feb. 28th.
We have talked about renting for about a year and then buying but it would be VERY tight time wise. Where will we go so quickly?
Fear gripped my heart and the what if's started overwhelming me. But the storm in my heart turned into a calm. I felt the Lord speak into my heart once again that He was going to bless me beyond what I would dream, was I willing to trust Him?
Amazing thing I heard the Lord laughing! He was laughing into my heart and the theme was I AM A GOOD GOD!
He was saying to me "I am a good God and I WILL bless you because I am good!"
So trusting in Him we signed the contract Saturday Feb. 17th and we close on Feb. 28th!!!!
Now here is where the count down begins!
My God is good (I already know this even if he doesn't prove it!) but He's the one who has something up His sleve and I'm trusting Him so let's see what He's going to do.
I'm going to post everyday that I can and update what is going on! The countdown is on!
Interesting little thing happen last night.
As I was packing I came across an amazing little book titled: The Prayer of Jebez
Now the Holy Spirit put this little book in my path and this is what He's calling me to pray:
And Jabez called on the God of Israel saying, "Oh, that You would bless me indeed, and enlarge my territory, that Your hand would be with me, and that You would keep me from evil, that I may not cause pain." So God granted him what he requested.
I've decided to create a countdown on here to document what my God is capable of!
Here's a little background info. We live in a 2 bedroom condo and several months ago were talking about if we should sell and look for a 3 bedroom place OR remodel our place and turn it into a 3 bedroom. It would make the living space very small. But we need a 3rd bedroom for our 2nd child.
I really didn't know which direction to go in and one day I was getting the children on the elevator and I was praying asking God to show me what to do, that I needed a clear answer on this issue. As soon as I prayed for answer the elevator stopped and a neighbor got in. I've seen this neighbor before but we've never talked beyond a polite hello. This woman turned to me and said: "How do you live here? How do you fit into these tiny condo's with your family?" I replied "Well it's hard, we don't fit well at all." She agreed and finished with "Every young couple that starts a family here quickly moves out. No one stays here once they start having children. This building just wasn't made for families."
The elevator stopped again and as quickly as she got in she was gone!
As soon as I got in my car I called my mother in shock and told her the whole story. In my heart I believed this was my answer from God. And as I talked it over with my mother she too agreed.
So we decided to sell.
A friend put our place on the market about a month ago and right away I felt the Lord speak to me and say that we were going to have a buyer come and pay our asking price, it wasn't going to take long and it was just going to fall into our lap. I further felt Him speak into my heart that He was going to bless my family beyond what I would think of.
We had a few people come and look and I pretty much kept what the Lord spoke into my heart to myself.
Then on Valentine's Day a woman came and looked and was very iinterested but her offer was 40 thousand below our asking price. We declined and counter offered with our asking price. Our realitor thought we were making a mistake that nobody pays the asking price AND we then found out that the condo above us just sold for 20 thousand below our asking price.
Still we held firm. Again the Lord spoke in my heart that we were going to get our asking price.
Three days later we get the call. She wants the condo and will come up to our asking price and wants to pay cash pending an appraisal. We agree to the appraisal.
THEN later that night we get another call from our realitor that the buyer wants to forget about the appraisal, she wants the place and she wants to make the contract the next day!
Now this was all very exciting but really scary at the same time because we have no place to go and the buyer wants to close on Feb. 28th.
We have talked about renting for about a year and then buying but it would be VERY tight time wise. Where will we go so quickly?
Fear gripped my heart and the what if's started overwhelming me. But the storm in my heart turned into a calm. I felt the Lord speak into my heart once again that He was going to bless me beyond what I would dream, was I willing to trust Him?
Amazing thing I heard the Lord laughing! He was laughing into my heart and the theme was I AM A GOOD GOD!
He was saying to me "I am a good God and I WILL bless you because I am good!"
So trusting in Him we signed the contract Saturday Feb. 17th and we close on Feb. 28th!!!!
Now here is where the count down begins!
My God is good (I already know this even if he doesn't prove it!) but He's the one who has something up His sleve and I'm trusting Him so let's see what He's going to do.
I'm going to post everyday that I can and update what is going on! The countdown is on!
Interesting little thing happen last night.
As I was packing I came across an amazing little book titled: The Prayer of Jebez
Now the Holy Spirit put this little book in my path and this is what He's calling me to pray:
And Jabez called on the God of Israel saying, "Oh, that You would bless me indeed, and enlarge my territory, that Your hand would be with me, and that You would keep me from evil, that I may not cause pain." So God granted him what he requested.
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
Sharing my testimony
Last Tuesday I got a chance to share my testimony at our Bible study.
I was very nervous because, well...to share my testimony I have to tell a lot of personal stuff.
I guess I don't have to share EVERYTHING, but I feel compelled to share a lot of it and don't think it would as powerful without all the detail.
I cried throughout some of it. Especially when I share the part how as a child I was so in love with my savior and I gave that up. It breaks my heart to admit that out loud.
Anyway, a lot of the ladies said they were really touched. So PTL!
I just started reading the Purpose Driven Life. I started it several years ago but never finished it.
I'm quite touched and amazed by it. It makes a lot of sense to me now and confirms a lot of things the Holy Spirit has revealed to me throughout this past year.
It never ceases to amaze me when the Holy Spirit drops something in my heart and then I read the same thing in a book or in the Word. It's such a confirmation that the Holy Spirit is REAL! And powerful! It's awesome to think I have a personal companion that guides me.
I was very nervous because, well...to share my testimony I have to tell a lot of personal stuff.
I guess I don't have to share EVERYTHING, but I feel compelled to share a lot of it and don't think it would as powerful without all the detail.
I cried throughout some of it. Especially when I share the part how as a child I was so in love with my savior and I gave that up. It breaks my heart to admit that out loud.
Anyway, a lot of the ladies said they were really touched. So PTL!
I just started reading the Purpose Driven Life. I started it several years ago but never finished it.
I'm quite touched and amazed by it. It makes a lot of sense to me now and confirms a lot of things the Holy Spirit has revealed to me throughout this past year.
It never ceases to amaze me when the Holy Spirit drops something in my heart and then I read the same thing in a book or in the Word. It's such a confirmation that the Holy Spirit is REAL! And powerful! It's awesome to think I have a personal companion that guides me.
Tuesday, January 30, 2007
discouraged and down
Today was my Tuesday morning ladies Bible study. I almost didn't go today because I felt so discouraged and I felt like complete failure.
I've been going through a tough time with my toddler. She's been pitching royal fits and pushing my buttons like crazy. She wakes in the night pitching fits and well it just feels like it will never end. I feel like I never get a break, not even in the night to rest. I'm exhausted and discouraged.
Making matters worse, I've been having a hard time controlling MY emotions. I'm supposed to be the adult here and yet I lose my temper and yell and react not so good.
And so after another night of being up and feeling like I want to pull my hair out from frustration, well I just didn't feel like going to Bible study to talk about God's love.
We are doing a study by Cynthia Heald called Becoming A Woman Who Loves.
I'm thinking to myself "how can I have anything to say about love, when I can't even love my own daughter propperly, when I lose my temper and yell?" I'm not even showing my own daughter the love of Christ.
I just felt completely defeated. BUT I went anyway. I figured well at least it will give me an hour break from the kids and some down time to regroup my thoughts and emotions.
Thank God I went because this is what he showed me:
The springs of love are in God, not in us. It is absurd to look for the love of God in our hearts naturally; it is only there when it has been shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Spirit. --Oswald Chambers
After reading this quote in the study, three women (not knowing what I've been struggling with lately) all shared different experiences of when they were raising their kids and difficult times and how they got through. After that we read verse after verse on God's love....
And so the Holy Spirit spoke into my heart and said "Jennifer, use LOVE and COMPASSION with Claudia, this is what she needs. This is what she is crying out for!" It is absured to think God's love will naturally be in your heart when dealing with tough times, it is only when you rely on the Holy Spirit to "shed abroad" that God's love will shine through!!!
I realized that I was looking within to find the love I needed to deal with my difficult todder. I thought since she was MY daughter that this love should be there naturally, even in difficult moments. I had it all wrong! This love, God's love is NOT there naturally! EVER! It requires a continual reliance on the Holy Spirit!
I left that meeting a changed person. I went from defeated and discouraged to empowered!
What exactly does this look like in action?? Well it means when something goes wrong in my life, in that moment of dire need, I call out to the Holy Spirit for His power and for His help. And my cry reads something like this:
Oh God! You know that it is not in my heart naturally to love as you love so here I am! I stand in silence before you! I die to my flesh that wants to lash out and I cry out "infuse me with your POWER!" Your love is changing and it is sweet. Shed it abroad in my heart!!
I've been going through a tough time with my toddler. She's been pitching royal fits and pushing my buttons like crazy. She wakes in the night pitching fits and well it just feels like it will never end. I feel like I never get a break, not even in the night to rest. I'm exhausted and discouraged.
Making matters worse, I've been having a hard time controlling MY emotions. I'm supposed to be the adult here and yet I lose my temper and yell and react not so good.
And so after another night of being up and feeling like I want to pull my hair out from frustration, well I just didn't feel like going to Bible study to talk about God's love.
We are doing a study by Cynthia Heald called Becoming A Woman Who Loves.
I'm thinking to myself "how can I have anything to say about love, when I can't even love my own daughter propperly, when I lose my temper and yell?" I'm not even showing my own daughter the love of Christ.
I just felt completely defeated. BUT I went anyway. I figured well at least it will give me an hour break from the kids and some down time to regroup my thoughts and emotions.
Thank God I went because this is what he showed me:
The springs of love are in God, not in us. It is absurd to look for the love of God in our hearts naturally; it is only there when it has been shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Spirit. --Oswald Chambers
After reading this quote in the study, three women (not knowing what I've been struggling with lately) all shared different experiences of when they were raising their kids and difficult times and how they got through. After that we read verse after verse on God's love....
And so the Holy Spirit spoke into my heart and said "Jennifer, use LOVE and COMPASSION with Claudia, this is what she needs. This is what she is crying out for!" It is absured to think God's love will naturally be in your heart when dealing with tough times, it is only when you rely on the Holy Spirit to "shed abroad" that God's love will shine through!!!
I realized that I was looking within to find the love I needed to deal with my difficult todder. I thought since she was MY daughter that this love should be there naturally, even in difficult moments. I had it all wrong! This love, God's love is NOT there naturally! EVER! It requires a continual reliance on the Holy Spirit!
I left that meeting a changed person. I went from defeated and discouraged to empowered!
What exactly does this look like in action?? Well it means when something goes wrong in my life, in that moment of dire need, I call out to the Holy Spirit for His power and for His help. And my cry reads something like this:
Oh God! You know that it is not in my heart naturally to love as you love so here I am! I stand in silence before you! I die to my flesh that wants to lash out and I cry out "infuse me with your POWER!" Your love is changing and it is sweet. Shed it abroad in my heart!!
Thursday, January 25, 2007
Are we called to SUFFER?
Does suffering scare you? Read this!
1 Peter 2:19-25
For it is commendable if a man bears up under the pain of unjust suffering because he is conscious of God. But how is it to your credit if you receive a beating for doing wrong and endure it? But if you suffer for doing good and you endure it, this is commendable before God. To this you were called, because Christ suffered for you, leaving you an example, that you should follow in his steps.
"He committed no sin,
and no deceit was found in his mouth."When they hurled their insults at him, he did not retaliate; when he suffered, he made no threats. Instead, he entrusted himself to him who judges justly. He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness; by his wounds you have been healed. For you were like sheep going astray, but now you have returned to the Shepherd and Overseer of your souls.
How do you read that passage?
This is what I think: When I am suffering for good, it means God TRUSTS me to accomplish His will. It means He wants something done and He trusts that I will obey Him and hold up under that suffering.
Suffering is not in vain! There is a purpose and reason! This is a higher calling! When I read this passage and let it seep into my soul, it changes the way I look at life. It changes my desires, my wants. There is actual joy that can be felt during suffering. Instead of saying "why me? poor me!" I raise my hands to Him and say THANK YOU God that you are a good God! I say to Him "YES Lord I will arise to your call." I say "Yes Lord I will answer that call!!"
Let me tell you suffering for Him tastes good. There is an aroma that starts within that floods your soul and seeps into you. It pours out of you and rises all the way up into heaven. It delights God and when He gets wind of that aroma He pours out His love, His peace, His joy and His help. It becomes a love dance between you and God!
Let me encourage you whatever your problem is: Don't give up! God is trusting you! He is waiting on you! What are you going to do? Rise up! Rise up with me and answer His call! He won't disappoint you!
1 Peter 2:19-25
For it is commendable if a man bears up under the pain of unjust suffering because he is conscious of God. But how is it to your credit if you receive a beating for doing wrong and endure it? But if you suffer for doing good and you endure it, this is commendable before God. To this you were called, because Christ suffered for you, leaving you an example, that you should follow in his steps.
"He committed no sin,
and no deceit was found in his mouth."When they hurled their insults at him, he did not retaliate; when he suffered, he made no threats. Instead, he entrusted himself to him who judges justly. He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness; by his wounds you have been healed. For you were like sheep going astray, but now you have returned to the Shepherd and Overseer of your souls.
How do you read that passage?
This is what I think: When I am suffering for good, it means God TRUSTS me to accomplish His will. It means He wants something done and He trusts that I will obey Him and hold up under that suffering.
Suffering is not in vain! There is a purpose and reason! This is a higher calling! When I read this passage and let it seep into my soul, it changes the way I look at life. It changes my desires, my wants. There is actual joy that can be felt during suffering. Instead of saying "why me? poor me!" I raise my hands to Him and say THANK YOU God that you are a good God! I say to Him "YES Lord I will arise to your call." I say "Yes Lord I will answer that call!!"
Let me tell you suffering for Him tastes good. There is an aroma that starts within that floods your soul and seeps into you. It pours out of you and rises all the way up into heaven. It delights God and when He gets wind of that aroma He pours out His love, His peace, His joy and His help. It becomes a love dance between you and God!
Let me encourage you whatever your problem is: Don't give up! God is trusting you! He is waiting on you! What are you going to do? Rise up! Rise up with me and answer His call! He won't disappoint you!
Wednesday, January 17, 2007
God doesn't NEED you!
Yup that's right God doesn't need you.
He WANTS you. He longs for you. He desires you. It's a game of love and He's saying "wanna play?"
C.S. Lewis says it best:
God, who needs nothing, loves into existence wholly superfluous creatures in order that He may love and perfect them... If I may dare the biological image, God is a "host" who deliberately creates His own parasites; causes us to be that we may exploit and "take advantage of" Him. Herein is love. This is the diagram of Love Himself, the inventor of all loves.
***
He WANTS you. He longs for you. He desires you. It's a game of love and He's saying "wanna play?"
C.S. Lewis says it best:
God, who needs nothing, loves into existence wholly superfluous creatures in order that He may love and perfect them... If I may dare the biological image, God is a "host" who deliberately creates His own parasites; causes us to be that we may exploit and "take advantage of" Him. Herein is love. This is the diagram of Love Himself, the inventor of all loves.
***
Saturday, January 13, 2007
Ever feel unworthy? Read this!
I am so excited to share this as I think it's one of the best things I've ever read. I hope it can help someone as much as it has helped me.
I emailed my wonderful uncle Terry (Rev. Terry Roberts) as he has a special relationship with the Lord and this was my question or questions to him:
"I have a few questions for you if you don't mind. I was wondering, do you think that there are some people who have a very sensitive spirit, maybe more so than others that can sense the Holy Spirit more? I hope that even makes sense. I guess I should explain. I often struggle with deep feelings of being unworthy. I sense how Holy the Lord is and I feel how wide the gap is between me and God. It is this reason that I stick very close to Jesus and call out to Him often. Yet I often feel frustrated because I feel the stink of the world on me and I think this keeps me from experiencing a deeper relationship with the Father. I keep having to come back to Jesus for the same issues in my life and I long for the day when I won't have things that keep me from the Father and I can experience His love more fully. I guess I've gotten a good taste of His love and I'm very eager and hungry to keep tasting it."
###
This was my uncle Terry's reply:
"The feelings of unworthiness may be due to your sensitivity to the supreme holiness of the Lord, which many people are not sensitive to. In fact, most are rather casual about God’s holiness, so naturally, don’t feel the sense of their own unholiness. So it is a good thing, in that sense, that you sometimes feel unworthy.
However, it is also good to be aware that we have an enemy who likes to beat up on sensitive people. Knowing how much you love Jesus and want to please Him, the Accuser will sometimes bombard your mind with thoughts of condemnation. This is not good, and should be resisted. (Read Romans 8:1, Revelation 12:7-11, James 4:7, 1 Peter 5:7-9.)
How to know the difference? The positive feelings of unworthiness flood us with a deep sense of awe for God and gratitude to Him for saving us just as we are. They call forth adoration and praise to Him who loved us and gave Himself for us. Read Revelation chapter 5, where John has a vision of Heaven, and is asked, “Who is worthy…?” He sees no one who is worthy, except the Lamb – and then all creation join in worshiping the Lamb because He is worthy. That’s the way God wants us to feel about our unworthiness and His worthiness.
The negative feelings of unworthiness – what we sometimes call “condemnation” – make us want to avoid coming into the Lord’s presence, because we feel like scum under His feet and doubt whether He will even hear us. We feel hopeless. The Lord doesn’t want us to give into such feelings. Don’t believe such feelings. They are lying “spirits” sent to torment God’s precious children. Arm yourself with the Word of God – the helmet of salvation and the shield of faith… Quote what God says about you in Ephesians chapter 1 and Romans chapter 8.
Of course, we are all unworthy in ourselves, but Colossians 1:12 says He has “qualified you” (or made you worthy) to participate in His glorious inheritance. (Read Colossians 1:9-23; 2:1-23). Chapter 2 verse 10 says we are “complete” in Christ (NIV says “you have been given fullness in Christ”) which means everything we need to satisfy the Father, we have in Christ. Also, 1 Corinthians 1:30-31 says, “It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus, who has become for us wisdom from God — that is, our righteousness, holiness and redemption. 31 Therefore, as it is written: "Let him who boasts boast in the Lord." So, Jesus is our holiness and our righteousness. We have none apart from Him.
We do pick up the dirt of this world, and we need a washing from time to time. The Word washes us (see Ephesians 5:25,26) Every day you open the Bible and meditate in it, it washes your spirit. When you come to Him in prayer, just ask Him to cleanse you with His Blood and renew you in His Spirit. He will. (In John 13:1-10, Jesus shows His love to his disciples by washing the dirt off their feet. Read about the conversation between Jesus and Peter and meditate on it.)
###
Jennifer, here:
Isn't that awesome what my uncle wrote? I don't know about you but I'm very eager to grab my Bible and do some reading! This is exciting stuff!!!
I emailed my wonderful uncle Terry (Rev. Terry Roberts) as he has a special relationship with the Lord and this was my question or questions to him:
"I have a few questions for you if you don't mind. I was wondering, do you think that there are some people who have a very sensitive spirit, maybe more so than others that can sense the Holy Spirit more? I hope that even makes sense. I guess I should explain. I often struggle with deep feelings of being unworthy. I sense how Holy the Lord is and I feel how wide the gap is between me and God. It is this reason that I stick very close to Jesus and call out to Him often. Yet I often feel frustrated because I feel the stink of the world on me and I think this keeps me from experiencing a deeper relationship with the Father. I keep having to come back to Jesus for the same issues in my life and I long for the day when I won't have things that keep me from the Father and I can experience His love more fully. I guess I've gotten a good taste of His love and I'm very eager and hungry to keep tasting it."
###
This was my uncle Terry's reply:
"The feelings of unworthiness may be due to your sensitivity to the supreme holiness of the Lord, which many people are not sensitive to. In fact, most are rather casual about God’s holiness, so naturally, don’t feel the sense of their own unholiness. So it is a good thing, in that sense, that you sometimes feel unworthy.
However, it is also good to be aware that we have an enemy who likes to beat up on sensitive people. Knowing how much you love Jesus and want to please Him, the Accuser will sometimes bombard your mind with thoughts of condemnation. This is not good, and should be resisted. (Read Romans 8:1, Revelation 12:7-11, James 4:7, 1 Peter 5:7-9.)
How to know the difference? The positive feelings of unworthiness flood us with a deep sense of awe for God and gratitude to Him for saving us just as we are. They call forth adoration and praise to Him who loved us and gave Himself for us. Read Revelation chapter 5, where John has a vision of Heaven, and is asked, “Who is worthy…?” He sees no one who is worthy, except the Lamb – and then all creation join in worshiping the Lamb because He is worthy. That’s the way God wants us to feel about our unworthiness and His worthiness.
The negative feelings of unworthiness – what we sometimes call “condemnation” – make us want to avoid coming into the Lord’s presence, because we feel like scum under His feet and doubt whether He will even hear us. We feel hopeless. The Lord doesn’t want us to give into such feelings. Don’t believe such feelings. They are lying “spirits” sent to torment God’s precious children. Arm yourself with the Word of God – the helmet of salvation and the shield of faith… Quote what God says about you in Ephesians chapter 1 and Romans chapter 8.
Of course, we are all unworthy in ourselves, but Colossians 1:12 says He has “qualified you” (or made you worthy) to participate in His glorious inheritance. (Read Colossians 1:9-23; 2:1-23). Chapter 2 verse 10 says we are “complete” in Christ (NIV says “you have been given fullness in Christ”) which means everything we need to satisfy the Father, we have in Christ. Also, 1 Corinthians 1:30-31 says, “It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus, who has become for us wisdom from God — that is, our righteousness, holiness and redemption. 31 Therefore, as it is written: "Let him who boasts boast in the Lord." So, Jesus is our holiness and our righteousness. We have none apart from Him.
We do pick up the dirt of this world, and we need a washing from time to time. The Word washes us (see Ephesians 5:25,26) Every day you open the Bible and meditate in it, it washes your spirit. When you come to Him in prayer, just ask Him to cleanse you with His Blood and renew you in His Spirit. He will. (In John 13:1-10, Jesus shows His love to his disciples by washing the dirt off their feet. Read about the conversation between Jesus and Peter and meditate on it.)
###
Jennifer, here:
Isn't that awesome what my uncle wrote? I don't know about you but I'm very eager to grab my Bible and do some reading! This is exciting stuff!!!
Thursday, January 11, 2007
Slow to speak
James 1:19-20 My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires.
I love this verse and desire to learn to live it out. One thing I love about this verse, it reveals God's heart, what He desires.
I notice that when I'm quick to get angry and quick to lash out, I feel a urging from the Holy Spirit. It's like he checks me. It's my decision if I'm going to obey or allow my flesh to rule me.
My desire for this new year is learn to be slow!
I love this verse and desire to learn to live it out. One thing I love about this verse, it reveals God's heart, what He desires.
I notice that when I'm quick to get angry and quick to lash out, I feel a urging from the Holy Spirit. It's like he checks me. It's my decision if I'm going to obey or allow my flesh to rule me.
My desire for this new year is learn to be slow!
Wednesday, January 10, 2007
Life is full
Happy New Year!
Life is crazy for me. I'm sure it is for a lot of people. It seems I'm constantly on the go with the kids. We just got back from a 4 week trip to Florida visiting family for the holidays.
I spent several weeks with my parents and sister and her two boys in Jacksonville. It was good to be home with my parents. I especially enjoyed attending their church for a special Christmas Eve candle light service. I sat on the back row since we had four kids and it was awesome seeing all the candles being held up. It was really amazing thinking how those lights represent the life and love of Christ within us. Christ really is the light in a dark world and that light is within us!
Today I was talking to my Dad on the phone and he said: "You know Jennifer, our relationship with the Lord is like a marathon, not a race."
Begining a new year full of oportunities, this has new meaning for me. It's something we should all know, but life gets BUSY and before I know it I'm wondering why I'm not hearing from the Lord. I'm wondering why he feels so distant from my heart.
This new year I'm looking forward to diving back into the Word to look for some answers to questions that have been on my heart.
It's exciting to me to know that as I thrist and hunger after Him, He WILL answer those questions!! For He says: I love those who love me, and those who seek me find me.
Life is crazy for me. I'm sure it is for a lot of people. It seems I'm constantly on the go with the kids. We just got back from a 4 week trip to Florida visiting family for the holidays.
I spent several weeks with my parents and sister and her two boys in Jacksonville. It was good to be home with my parents. I especially enjoyed attending their church for a special Christmas Eve candle light service. I sat on the back row since we had four kids and it was awesome seeing all the candles being held up. It was really amazing thinking how those lights represent the life and love of Christ within us. Christ really is the light in a dark world and that light is within us!
Today I was talking to my Dad on the phone and he said: "You know Jennifer, our relationship with the Lord is like a marathon, not a race."
Begining a new year full of oportunities, this has new meaning for me. It's something we should all know, but life gets BUSY and before I know it I'm wondering why I'm not hearing from the Lord. I'm wondering why he feels so distant from my heart.
This new year I'm looking forward to diving back into the Word to look for some answers to questions that have been on my heart.
It's exciting to me to know that as I thrist and hunger after Him, He WILL answer those questions!! For He says: I love those who love me, and those who seek me find me.
Wednesday, November 29, 2006
How to get around Christ in Christmas
The tune from Queen "Under Pressure" came to mind when I realized readers are waiting for this next post! lol!!! Thanks mom for explaining why I've not been posting as much lately. With two little who seem to be constantly sick, it's been tough to get online long enough to type anything worth reading. lol
I'd like to say that I'm only speaking from my opinion here and realize that everyone and every family is different. My dh is atheist and I'm a born again Christan in love with Christ so my experience comes from that background.
So, just how does an atheist celebrate Christmas? It's far easier than you think. In fact I don't think the world has even been paying attention to what Christmas really is. It just seems to me that Christmas is all about giving gifts and the spirit of giving with Santa being the delivery guy.
In my little home it seems like we've been living with some blinders on. We put up a tree all decked out with Santa and decorate the house with shiny balls and sparkly lights. We bake cookies and drink hot coco. We rent holiday movies to give us warm fuzzy holiday feelings. And then there's the spirit of giving. You know what? I just think that the spirit of giving is false and it's a lie. I feel like it's been pushed on us as a society and the pressure is becoming incredible. Kids are demanding more and more and the true joy has been lost. I truly believe there is no real joy in shiny new things. I say that not because I'm weird but because I've actually seen it played out with my own children. You know what I've noticed? The more they get the LESS happy they are! It's true!
So the way you get around Christ in Christmas is by filling it up with a bunch of holiday celebrations and getting so caught up and so busy that you actually forget what Christmas REALLY is. It's the joy that our sweet Savior was born!
I'd like to say that I'm only speaking from my opinion here and realize that everyone and every family is different. My dh is atheist and I'm a born again Christan in love with Christ so my experience comes from that background.
So, just how does an atheist celebrate Christmas? It's far easier than you think. In fact I don't think the world has even been paying attention to what Christmas really is. It just seems to me that Christmas is all about giving gifts and the spirit of giving with Santa being the delivery guy.
In my little home it seems like we've been living with some blinders on. We put up a tree all decked out with Santa and decorate the house with shiny balls and sparkly lights. We bake cookies and drink hot coco. We rent holiday movies to give us warm fuzzy holiday feelings. And then there's the spirit of giving. You know what? I just think that the spirit of giving is false and it's a lie. I feel like it's been pushed on us as a society and the pressure is becoming incredible. Kids are demanding more and more and the true joy has been lost. I truly believe there is no real joy in shiny new things. I say that not because I'm weird but because I've actually seen it played out with my own children. You know what I've noticed? The more they get the LESS happy they are! It's true!
So the way you get around Christ in Christmas is by filling it up with a bunch of holiday celebrations and getting so caught up and so busy that you actually forget what Christmas REALLY is. It's the joy that our sweet Savior was born!
Tuesday, November 28, 2006
Celebrating Christmas with an atheist
I can tell this Christmas is going to be VERY special for me this year. I'm so excited to celebrate the birth of my risen Savior! How sweet and wonderful He is. I get teary eyed just thinking of Him as a sweet innocent little babe.
I can now understand why they came to adore Him as a babe. Just think of it, a babe is so innocent, so trusting and so vulnerable. How awesome to think of that babe as our Savior. Oh it's so sweet I could cry.
I can't wait for Christmas so I can sing to Him and tell Him how much I love Him. How special He is to me. How much I adore and treasure Him. He is the lover of my soul, my joy and my delight! I want to honor Him.
Now switch your mind to celebrating Christmas with an atheist. How flat is that? How empty, how meaningless. How sad.
I wish with all my heart my husband could understand the true joy in Christmas. I used to think that Christmas was about family and in many ways it still is. I'll be visiting with my family for Christmas and I'm so looking forward to that. BUT Christmas is different this year. It's more than just family, way more!!! There is a joy in my heart that wants to sing out!!!!!!
Christmas has such meaning!!! The Savior is born!!! He is our hope, our joy, our peace!!! He is our way!
There aren't enough words to describe it, it's so awesome!!!!!
My heartfelt prayer; Oh Lord, how wonderful you are!!! Happy Birthday!! Thank you for You!!! I give thanks for your birth! You are awesome, you are amazing and thrilling! I don't need a man in a red suit, I just need you! How empty is Christmas without you! I only want to think of you and worship and adore You. You my Lord are all I need and You are enough for me! I love you!!
My next post will be titled "Exactly how does an atheist celebrate Christmas?" I'll be sharing how my husband gets around the Christ in Christmas.
I can now understand why they came to adore Him as a babe. Just think of it, a babe is so innocent, so trusting and so vulnerable. How awesome to think of that babe as our Savior. Oh it's so sweet I could cry.
I can't wait for Christmas so I can sing to Him and tell Him how much I love Him. How special He is to me. How much I adore and treasure Him. He is the lover of my soul, my joy and my delight! I want to honor Him.
Now switch your mind to celebrating Christmas with an atheist. How flat is that? How empty, how meaningless. How sad.
I wish with all my heart my husband could understand the true joy in Christmas. I used to think that Christmas was about family and in many ways it still is. I'll be visiting with my family for Christmas and I'm so looking forward to that. BUT Christmas is different this year. It's more than just family, way more!!! There is a joy in my heart that wants to sing out!!!!!!
Christmas has such meaning!!! The Savior is born!!! He is our hope, our joy, our peace!!! He is our way!
There aren't enough words to describe it, it's so awesome!!!!!
My heartfelt prayer; Oh Lord, how wonderful you are!!! Happy Birthday!! Thank you for You!!! I give thanks for your birth! You are awesome, you are amazing and thrilling! I don't need a man in a red suit, I just need you! How empty is Christmas without you! I only want to think of you and worship and adore You. You my Lord are all I need and You are enough for me! I love you!!
My next post will be titled "Exactly how does an atheist celebrate Christmas?" I'll be sharing how my husband gets around the Christ in Christmas.
Tuesday, November 07, 2006
Some verses I needed to hear
1 Corinthians 6:11 And that is what some of you were. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.
2 Thessalonians 2:13 But we ought always to thank God for you, brothers loved by the Lord, because from the beginning God chose you to be saved through the sanctifying work of the Spirit and through belief in the truth. He called you to this through our gospel, that you might share in the glory of our Lord Jesus Christ.
1 Peter 1:1-2 Peter, an apostle of Jesus Christ,
To God's elect, strangers in the world, scattered throughout Pontus, Galatia, Cappadocia, Asia and Bithynia, who have been chosen according to the foreknowledge of God the Father, through the sanctifying work of the Spirit, for obedience to Jesus Christ and sprinkling by his blood:
Grace and peace be yours in abundance.
John 17:16-19 They are not of the world, even as I am not of it. Sanctify them by the truth; your word is truth. As you sent me into the world, I have sent them into the world. 19For them I sanctify myself, that they too may be truly sanctified.
Romans 8:1-3 Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus,because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death. For what the law was powerless to do in that it was weakened by the sinful nature, God did by sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful man to be a sin offering. And so he condemned sin in sinful man
2 Thessalonians 2:13 But we ought always to thank God for you, brothers loved by the Lord, because from the beginning God chose you to be saved through the sanctifying work of the Spirit and through belief in the truth. He called you to this through our gospel, that you might share in the glory of our Lord Jesus Christ.
1 Peter 1:1-2 Peter, an apostle of Jesus Christ,
To God's elect, strangers in the world, scattered throughout Pontus, Galatia, Cappadocia, Asia and Bithynia, who have been chosen according to the foreknowledge of God the Father, through the sanctifying work of the Spirit, for obedience to Jesus Christ and sprinkling by his blood:
Grace and peace be yours in abundance.
John 17:16-19 They are not of the world, even as I am not of it. Sanctify them by the truth; your word is truth. As you sent me into the world, I have sent them into the world. 19For them I sanctify myself, that they too may be truly sanctified.
Romans 8:1-3 Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus,because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death. For what the law was powerless to do in that it was weakened by the sinful nature, God did by sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful man to be a sin offering. And so he condemned sin in sinful man
Wednesday, November 01, 2006
A lesson on grace and mercy
Matthew 7:7 "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.
I wonder when you ask the Lord for something, like say patience, does it suddenly just zap into your heart and instantly you are a patient person?
Well for me it hasn't been that way. For me when I ask for something it seems the Lord teaches me things through a lesson. I don't just easily and instantly receive something like that. It takes a little pain for me to grow and change.
So this past Thursday I was thinking on grace and mercy.
Merriam Webster Online defines grace as: disposition to or an act or instance of kindness, courtesy, or clemency
and mercy as: compassion or forbearance shown especially to an offender or to one subject to one's power; also : lenient or compassionate treatment
So this past Thursday we were flying with my brother and sister in law and all four of our kids to Miami. My husband and I arrived at the airport on time and found our brother in law was running late. Not unusual at all so we decide to go ahead and check in. We make the line, show our ID's and hear the man at the counter say, "Are you flying today? You aren't in the system." The words I dreaded to hear. I knew when traveling with them that I would need a lot of patience since they are always running late but I didn't expect rushing to the airport to find out we don't have tickets. Ugh.......
It seems that brother in law made a mistake and purchased the tickets for Friday NOT Thursday so I watched the kids while the adults tried to change all the tickets and find an available flight out that night.
So there I am with four screaming kids in the airport and a decision to make. Do I get angry at brother in law? I mean, how could someone make a mistake like that? I think back to the entire stressful day of rushing and packing and getting to the airport with two little ones and now I'm told there are no tickets????? I felt like I could scream!
All the sudden the words grace and mercy came to me. I'm standing in line with four kids, stressed to my breaking point and two little words change everything. Grace and mercy.
How much grace and mercy do I want and need in my life? How much grace and mercy do I need from my Lord? How much grace and mercy does He lovingly and freely give me?
I knew then what I had to do. I needed to show some grace and mercy. So instead of getting SO upset I let it go.
And you know what? Grace and mercy feels SO much better than anger and impatience.
In the end we got on a flight and made it to Miami and I thank the Lord for reminding me of those two LITTLE words that have such BIG meaning.
I wonder when you ask the Lord for something, like say patience, does it suddenly just zap into your heart and instantly you are a patient person?
Well for me it hasn't been that way. For me when I ask for something it seems the Lord teaches me things through a lesson. I don't just easily and instantly receive something like that. It takes a little pain for me to grow and change.
So this past Thursday I was thinking on grace and mercy.
Merriam Webster Online defines grace as: disposition to or an act or instance of kindness, courtesy, or clemency
and mercy as: compassion or forbearance shown especially to an offender or to one subject to one's power; also : lenient or compassionate treatment
So this past Thursday we were flying with my brother and sister in law and all four of our kids to Miami. My husband and I arrived at the airport on time and found our brother in law was running late. Not unusual at all so we decide to go ahead and check in. We make the line, show our ID's and hear the man at the counter say, "Are you flying today? You aren't in the system." The words I dreaded to hear. I knew when traveling with them that I would need a lot of patience since they are always running late but I didn't expect rushing to the airport to find out we don't have tickets. Ugh.......
It seems that brother in law made a mistake and purchased the tickets for Friday NOT Thursday so I watched the kids while the adults tried to change all the tickets and find an available flight out that night.
So there I am with four screaming kids in the airport and a decision to make. Do I get angry at brother in law? I mean, how could someone make a mistake like that? I think back to the entire stressful day of rushing and packing and getting to the airport with two little ones and now I'm told there are no tickets????? I felt like I could scream!
All the sudden the words grace and mercy came to me. I'm standing in line with four kids, stressed to my breaking point and two little words change everything. Grace and mercy.
How much grace and mercy do I want and need in my life? How much grace and mercy do I need from my Lord? How much grace and mercy does He lovingly and freely give me?
I knew then what I had to do. I needed to show some grace and mercy. So instead of getting SO upset I let it go.
And you know what? Grace and mercy feels SO much better than anger and impatience.
In the end we got on a flight and made it to Miami and I thank the Lord for reminding me of those two LITTLE words that have such BIG meaning.
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