I'm still around! Thanks for asking about me.
I guess this summer has been a little hard for me. This past May marked one year ago that my mom entered Hospice care and the countdown to her death started. Most of you know I spent those last three months with her.
My mind keeps flashing back. I keep remember things like, "well last July 4th, Julie the kids and I bought a ton of fireworks and set them all off on mom and dad's drive way." Afterward we drove downtown and watched the city firework display.
Where was mom? In her hospital bed dying...
There are no words to describe that grief. The pain of watching her slowly slip away.
Someone, and I can't remember who told me right after she died that the grief hadn't even begun yet. I remember those words and understand them now.
July 21 will mark a year since her death. How can that be? It seems like yesterday. It seems so fresh. I've cried more this summer than I did last summer.
I keep thinking about the family summer vacation we would have taken this summer if she weren't gone...
I feel angry and cheated and I really really really miss my mom.
I guess that's one reason I haven't posted. Right now I'm full of pain and hurting. I know it will be ok, my mom said it would... but I just miss her...so much...
My heartfelt prayer; Dear Jesus, Please tell my mom I miss her but I'm going to be ok with your help. I hear her words, her advice, her encouragement and with your help I will rise up! Love, Jennifer
