Wednesday, June 11, 2008

I'm with my mom!

I made it to Jacksonville! I'm staying in my parent's home and visiting with my mom!

My sister and I arrived last Wednesday and have spent a week by my mom's bedside.

It was a shock seeing mom, she was unresponsive that first day and we couldn't wake her. It's one thing to hear how your loved one will get sleeper and sleeper and then slip away, but it's another thing to be standing over your loved one calling out "Mom! Mom!" and get no response.

She's since had moments where she's awake and alert and knows who we are and tells us she loves us. My heart longs for her to get up... I feel like I've cried a thousand tears. I miss my mom SO much. It breaks my heart knowing she's in her room, helpless in a hospital bed.

One night I was crying, the pain so real I didn't think I could get a hold of myself so I pulled her big Bible off the shelf and decided to turn to those pages for help. She had a green post-it note marking this passage:

Psalms 103:1-5

Praise the LORD, O my soul;
all my inmost being, praise his holy name.
2 Praise the LORD, O my soul,
and forget not all his benefits-

3 who forgives all your sins
and heals all your diseases,

4 who redeems your life from the pit
and crowns you with love and compassion,

5 who satisfies your desires with good things
so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's.

So I did just that, I started praising His Holy name and joy and peace came all over me!

There have been many hard moments through all of this but when I praise Him it all fades away...

This morning I climbed in bed with my mom and held her hand and sang with worship music playing in her room. Together we praised our sweet Jesus, I kept thinking how all her life she's loved and lived for Jesus and soon she'll meet Him face to face.