Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Come home soon

That's the call I got last night from my mom.

We've talked several times about me going up again for a visit, but nothing finialized.

Last night she called and said to come soon...

She's losing feeling in her lower limbs...

Oh God...

I've booked the trip and will be leaving On Friday, May 2nd for a week.

I'm taking Claudia and leaving Lorenzo home with my husband.

I'm praying for one last chance to make memories and spend some quality time with my mom.

I can't believe this is happening, I wonder when the shock will wear off.

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

She gives me courage!

I haven't had the heart to blog much lately. I'm so sorry I haven't updated, despite comments questioning how I'm doing.

I'm sure most who read my blog know my mother has terminal brain cancer and probably read her site too and therefore have seen her message on youtube. But in case you haven't seen it here is a link:

I sobbed after seeing it. What a woman of faith and courage! There she is, facing terminal brain cancer and the woman is a faith warrior!

I talk to her up to 3 times a day and I've never heard her complain, doubt or question.

Her faith will not wavier, can't be shaken and will not die!

I know her well enough to know what her secret is! She's in love with her Savior, Jesus and they walk side by side. Her dewelling place is in the vine and man is she rooted in deep!

I don't know about you, but I want that! Seeing her life makes me even more hungry for Jesus! To be so in love with your Savior that He holds you tenderly. Helping you through the worst most possible moments of your life turning them into joy!

That's what Jesus can do for you, for me and what He's doing for her.

I've been having a tough time accepting my mom's cancer. There have been lots and lots of tears lately. I guess I could sum it up by saying I don't want to accept her cancer, I'm not happy about it and I honestly don't feel like turning to God for help to get me through this tough time.

I guess God knew even two thousand years ago I'd need Jesus. There's one person right now I can't turn away from and that's Jesus. He knows me better than myself. He knows about pain, suffering and death. He see's my tears, feels my heart break and knows my plight. He's taken up my cause and He will not let me go!

All I know to do is call out to Jesus and seek Him. Apart from Him there is nothing for me.